Posted by
Kari Berele on Thursday, January 22, 2009 11:06:20 PM
"24" - relief from political correctness
auto executives – n. see bank executives
bailout – n. common usage - money from families given to the government to bail out criminals 2) n. modern usage –money from families given to criminals to bail out even more criminals
bank – n. a place to store your money, pay fees, and earn pittances so that you have the pleasure of knowing that there is a banker somewhere on a secluded beach without a care in the world
bank executives – n. see insurance executives
Biden, Joe – n. 1. Vice President of the United States, or as he is commonly known during interviews “thorn in Obama’s side”
Blagojevich, Rod – n. 1. Governor of Illinois 2. distant relative of Narcissus
Blagojevich, Rod – n. 1. Governor of Illinois who refused to step down after being impeached and is now believed to be hidden deep inside the Governor’s mansion – some reports are that a flower now blooms where he was last seen looking in mirror
(Note to editor: please hold second Blagojevich definition for a later printing)
blagojevich - n. a sly wheeler dealer; v. blagojeviching --- That ‘ole blagojevich wanted $5000 for this broken down truck.
Clinton, Hillary - n. Secretary of State 2. second fiddle to Joe Biden
Chrysler – n. 1. a car company sort of like GM but worse 2. a car that sells for $25,000 that cost $30,000 to make
commission – n. a government agency created to investigate problems and create the evidence that is needed so that Senators and Congressmen can point and say “See!”
“Gitmo” - n. a holding prison for blood-thirsty terrorists 2. what those terrorists plan to do to Americans when Obama releases them
fat cats – n. see magnates
Ford – n. 1. a car company sort of like GM and Chrysler but better because they make cool trucks
GM - n. a car company sort of like Chrysler but better 2. parent company with too many children companies that had to go on welfare
insurance executives – n. see fat cats
Inaugural Ball – n. the weeping heard across the land among Republicans on January 20th, 2009
magnates – n. see moguls
moguls – n. see plutocrats
Obama, Barack – n. 1. 44th President of the United States 2. first black President 3. messiah 4. anointed one 5. miracle worker 6. magician 7. wizard 8. the world’s leader 9. healer 10. economy fixer 11. mortgage crisis solver 12. ender of global warming 13. creator of a cancer cure 14. holds key to eliminating the common cold 15. may even be able to take on Chuck Norris
pardon – n. something OJ will never see.
plutocrats – n. 1.see tycoons
politicians – n. 1. elusive fat cats who do very little and do it poorly and get rich for their efforts – see auto executives
Turbo Tax – n. a great fall guy to blame during an IRS audit
tycoons – n. see politicians
Wall Street– n. a noisy place where men and women run around with paper in their hands playing games causing many people to lose money /an adult version of Chucky Cheese
West Palm Beach – n. place where fat cats meet to scratch, sniff, and purr
“You know” – a handy phrase to use repeatedly during an interview for a job you don’t want